Chris-Chan's Bizarre Adventure
by Gabenslair
Summary: Christian Weston Chandler comes across a strange box containing an arrow.


Chris Chan's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 1- The Strange Package

In the humble city of Ruckersville Virginia, in a particular house in a redneck neighborhood, lies an atypical man-child, Christian Weston Chandler. He lies down at his bed, staring at his countless memorabilia and toys. His mind acts like a television that constantly changes channels, one moment it's his OC "Sonichu", another is the countless trolls that bother him, currently an impostor, a Guido, and fake gal-pals. The idea of them made him stressed out. They played with him around like a toy, a pet to play around, but this time, he knew a way to repel the nasty trolls.

He takes some paint he currently has from one of his cupboards, and smears it on his face, determined to remind the trolls that he has Cherokee ancestry on his side. As he's turning on his PS3, he prepares a speech of determination, a speech to prove the trolls that he declares war, and then he selects record.

"Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls!" he announced. "You are at, we are at war!" He recites his dialogue as if he is one with the tribe, while calling out the bullies that dare "denounce" his family. His arms shimmer around as he gives his speech, and when the time is right, he yodels his battle cry while waving his hands. " **AIYAIYAYIAYIAYIAYIAYI- YAAAAOIII**!" He pulls out a now recalled Megatron Pistol, and points it to the screen. "I will hun-, or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry, how."

And he then presses "stop" with his PS3 controller.

"Christian! There's some mail that's for you!" exclaimed a man downstairs. That voice is none other than Bob Chandler, the father of Christian. "I think it's one of your new toys you ordered!"

"Okay dad! I'm coming!" Christian stated. He walks down the stairs to see the package that arrived to his house, there, he saw Bob Chandler, an aging man holding the package. The Package itself is brown cardboard, wrapped in grey duct tape, and on top shined a stamp depicting a mystic forest. Written on the side read "14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville VA"

"Christian, I don't have a clue on what this is. The Mailman didn't knew about it, said he 'just delivered it'. Do you know what this is?" Bob questioned.

"Well I have been using Google a lot, maybe I buyed something. I will go see what things I got" Murmured Christian.

Christian grasped onto the bottom of the package, and took it upstairs. He sat it on the floor and took a look at it. He wasn't sure on what the package was, and what it contained, yet it enticed him to open it. Christian grabbed the edge of the box, and pulled it with force, but failed to do so.

"Dad, do you have the box cutters?" Asked Christian.

"Yes, they're somewhere in the kitchen, I'll go bring them up." Answered Bob. "Remember to wash that paint off your face."

"Yes dad" Replied Christian already forgetting what Bob told him to. He then continued to struggle with the box despite Bob's promise of the box cutters. He tried pulling the tape, bashing the box, and even used his fingernails to "cut" it. Bob opens the door for Christian to notice.

"Why do you still have that paint on? Go wash it off." Commanded Bob, slightly irritated.

"I'm working on it!"

"Well you got to wash it off at the bathroom. You might get paint on your toys."

"I am a Cherokee Ancestor!"

"I don't think Cherokee people use orange war paint Chris, they're more like a tribe that uses red."

"Well I am Cherokee so I say it's orange."

"Yeah, well go wash it off before it dries." Bob concluded. "I'll open the box for you."

Christian got up and left to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror to see himself donned in orange and black paint, now starting to dry on his cheeks and forehead. He douses his hands in the sink with cold water, and rubs the paint off his face. He looks down to see the orange dye seeping into the drain. He then re-approaches his room, with Bob just opening the box.

Chris looked inside it, and saw a note, a manga, and a particular yellow object covered in bubble wrap. The bubble wrap itself had a couple of popped bulbs from the bashing and tumbling of the product.

Bob gave Christian a pat on the back. "Christian you left the tap on, I'm gonna leave you off the hook this time, but next time try to remember to turn it off." Said Bob taking off. "Enjoy your package! We don't usually open mails, but this one looked like something you'd buy."

Christian unwrapped the bubble wrap, and saw a strange arrow before him. He took the rod and examined it, taking notice of the particular beetle sculpture carved from the sides. He wondered why somebody would give him an arrow, maybe a slow-minded troll who thought his arrow would be featured in a video. Christian took the arrow and slid it under his bed, anxious read his newly acquired manga.

The note stayed in the box undisturbed. Waiting patiently to be read.


End file.
